Don E. Gibbons, Ph.D., NJ Licensed Psychologist #03513
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The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC

The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC, is located at 675 Route 72 E, Manahawkin, NJ 08050,
Telephone (609)709-2043 and (609) 494-0009.

Driving directions: Take Mill Creek Road South, just off Route 72 E After about 400 feet, turn right into the office complex of Mill Creek Commons.Then, immedately turn right again and go past the Lyceum II Gym. Continue on to the Prudential Zack Building,which will be the only building on your right. We are the last office at the end.

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

How to Overcome Fear of Failure and Fear of Success

It isn't what happens that makes you anxious. It's what you believe about what happens that makes you anxious. If anxiety and lack of self-confidence have created difficulties for you, there are things that you can say to yourself, with or without an induction, in order to change the way that you experience the world.  Unlike many of the affirmations used in "positive thinking," they are all 100% true to begin with, so use the ones which you find most appealing, take one or two at a time, and take plenty of time to think about and digest them.                   
    Mistakes are just that. 
  • Mistakes and rejections are inevitable. Mistakes are just that. Mistakes. Period. 
  • Just because things are not succeeding today does not mean that I will not succeed in the future.
  • While it is very desirable to achieve well and be recognized by others, I do not need achievement or recognition to survive and be happy.
  • My performance at work — perfect or otherwise — does not determine my worth as a person.
  • Things are rarely as bad, awful, or catastrophic as I imagine them to be.
  • I accept who I am, even though I may not like some of my traits and behaviors.
  • There are many things about me that I like and do well (enumerate them).
  • I have done many things at work successfully in the past, I will succeed in the future.
  • I am intelligent and talented enough to learn what I have to do and how to do it in order to accomplish my goals.
  • I am confident that everything will turn out okay given that I have my goals, know what to do, and work hard.
  • I don't have to make myself anxious about anything, or put myself down if I stupidly and foolishly do make myself anxious. 
  •  My anxiety is bad, but I'm not bad. 
  •  I don't always have to feel comfortable, and it isn't awful when I don't. 
  •  I can bear—and bear with—anxiety: it won't kill me. 
  •  It is not necessary to be in perfect control of my anxious moments. To demand that I be in control only multiplies my symptoms.  
  • Others are not required to treat me with kid gloves when I feel uncomfortable. 
  • The world doesn't have to make it easy for me to get a handle on my anxiety. 
  • Anxiety is a part of life; it is not bigger than life.  
  • My over-reactive nervous system is a part of my life, but it's not bigger than life. 
  • I can take my anxiety with me when going places and doing things that I am reluctant to do (or stay isolated).  
  • Controlling my anxiety is important, but it isn't urgent. 
  • Comfort is nice, but not necessary. 
  • I don't have to be the one person in the universe to feel comfortable all the time.  
  • I'd better not feel calm, relaxed, and serene all the time, because if I did, I'd have one heck of a time motivating myself 
  •  Anxiety and panic are burrs in my saddle: highly inconvenient and uncomfortable, but hardly awful. 
  • I don't have to hassle myself or put myself down for not coping better with my anxiety.  
  • This, too, will likely pass.  
  • I can blend in with the flow of my anxiety; I don't have to go tooth-and-nail, head-on with it. 
  • If I feel anxious, I feel anxious—tough! 
  • I may have my anxiety, but I am not my anxiety. 
  • I don't have to shame or demean myself for anything—including creating tight knots in my gut. 
  • Feelings of awkwardness, nervousness, or queasiness may interfere with my projects, but they do not have to ruin them.
  • The following video by Napoleon Hill is the original, full-length presentation of his best-seller, Think and Grow Rich, which sold millions of copies and is now in the public domain.

Here are just a few the other practical applications of hyperempiria, or suggestion-enhanced experience, contained on this Blog,  You can learn how to:

Gibbons, D. E. (2001). Experience as an art form. .New York, NY: Authors Choice Press.

Gibbons, D. E. (2000). Applied hypnosis and hyperempiria. Lincoln, NE: Authors Choice Press (originally published 1979 by Plenum Press).

Gibbons, D. E., & Cavallaro, L (2013).. Exploring alternate universes: And learning what they can teach us. Amazon Kindle E-Books. (Note: It is not necessary to own a Kindle reader to download this e-book, as the Kindle app may be downloaded free of charge to a standard desktop or laptop computer and to most cell phones.)

Gibbons, D. E., & Lynn, S. J. (2010). Hypnotic inductions: A primer. in S. J. Lynn, J. W. Rhue, & I. Kirsch (Eds.) Handbook of clinical hypnosis, 2nd ed. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, pp. 267-291.

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