How Not to Let Life's Difficulties Get You Down

Do the important things -- and then take time to enjoy life!

The following list is adapted from a posting  on  www.smartrecovery.org. The difference between these statements and other types of "positive thinking" affirmations is that these statements are all true, we just don't always realize that they are! You don't get the feeling that you are merely lying to yourself, as you might if you were to try to accept a different type of affirmation such as, "I am effective and serene in social situations," when you know very well that you are not.

You simply need to go over them a few times each day in your mind until they become part of your everyday reality, much as you might repeat a set of physical exercises until you have reached the level of comfort you desire.

If your perfectionism is more than the "everyday garden variety" which we all experience at times, you may need to explore the possibility of talk therapy and/or psychotropic medication in order to obtain a satisfactory resolution.

• No one can be totally perfect.
• I'm not perfect and I never will be — tough!
• It's okay to want to do my best. Doing well does not necessarily mean being the best.
• I perform in many different roles and it is highly unlikely that I will excel in every role at all times.
• Just because I make a mistake does not mean I am a mistake.
• To be human is to err.
• The pressure I put on myself to perform perfectly is an unrealistic pressure that can actually cause me to perform worse because I will be worried and nervous.
• The pressure I put on myself to perform perfectly creates an extra source of stress that can affect me emotionally and physically.
• Trying to do my best is a reasonable goal, but it will not always be achieved.
• Few things in life are exact. Things can be done in a variety of ways and have many different solutions.
• People do not always agree on what is correct or right. Judgments are often subjective.
• I will try to set my own realistic goals, please myself, and have the strength to be creative and different in the face of others' potential disapproval.
• Our whole society is geared to expect that people will make mistakes and errors. Examples are traffic tickets, prison, consumer recalls, consumer complaints, refunds, legal suits, etc.
• True friends accept imperfection.
• Mistakes do not equal incompetence. Mistakes are just mistakes —period! 

 

  

How to Improve Sports Performance Using Self Hypnosis

Perhaps you have seen those news stories about individual athletes, or even entire athletic teams, who have improved their performance by securing the services of a sports hypnotist. The research literature in psychology supports the conclusion that such interventions have been effective. (Barker & Jones, 2008; Levitan, 2012; Tramontana, 2011). But you don't have to hire a hypnotist yourself in order to obtain similar results.  Self-hypnosis, can also provide helpful mental preparation. What really counts is the ability to actively engage the imagination so that you can pre-experience successful performance as vividly as possible.  

I recommend regular practice with the Best Me Technique (Gibbons & Lynn, 2010) in self hypnosis as a way of involve your whole person in visualizing successful performance, so that you can experience now, in the present and in concentrated form, the rewards and satisfactions which would not normally be yours until success has actually been achieved. This will not only improve your performance, but it will also provide you with the motivation to pursue it. 

Each element of the Best Me Technique corresponds with a dimension of experience (Beliefs, Emotions, Sensations and physical perceptions, Thoughts and images, Motives, and Expectations), which may be used in any order and varied and repeated as often as desired in order to involve the imagination as completely as possible. I'm going to use bowling as an example of how to use the Best Me Technique to improve bowling performance, but it can just as easily be applied to other sports such as baseball, golf, and soccer. Here's how it works.

First, find a quiet place where you are not likely to be disturbed. Close your eyes, and after inducing self hypnosis as described in the link above, imagine or picture yourself about to bowl a successful strike, using imagery like this:

Beliefs. Believe, or picture in your mind, that you are headed towards a certain and inevitable success. 

Emotions. Feel the thrill of achievement surging through you as you realize that victory is assured.

Sensations and Physical perceptions. Listen to the sound of the ball rolling down the chute while the people around you grow quiet.

Thoughts and Images: See the ball hit the pins directly, and watch them go flying in every direction .

Motives. Realize that this is how you want your bowling to become.

Expectations. Allow yourself to fully savor in your mind the fruits of your success! 

Believe it will happen, expect it to happen, feel it happening, and savor in advance the fruits of your success. Practice and rehearse regularly, and with patience. And, above all, make sure that you enjoy it!

 References

Barker, J. & Jones, M. (2008). The effects of hypnosis on self-efficacy, affect, and soccer performance: A case study.  Journal of Clinical Sport Psychology, 2(2),  pp. 127-147.

Gibbons, D. E., & Lynn, S. J. (2010). Hypnotic inductions: A primer. in S. J. Lynn, J. W. Rhue, & I. Kirsch (Eds.) Handbook of clinical hypnosis, 2nd ed. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, pp. 267-291.

Tramontana, J. (2011).  Sports hypnosis in practice: Scripts, strategies and case examples. Norwalk, CT, US: Crown House Publishing Limited.

Levitan, A. (2012).  Review of Sports hypnosis in practice: Scripts, strategies, and case examples. American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 54(4), pp. 365-366

Love Your Enemy -- It'll Drive Him Crazy!

I like to keep the following quote by Max Ehtmann handy to cut and paste as a reply whenever I am "jumped" by a Facebook Bully or simply whenever somebody says something that is barking mad! 

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence 

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. 

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals,and everywhere life is full of heroism. 

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. 

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

 Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy,