Don E. Gibbons, Ph.D., NJ Licensed Psychologist #03513
This Blog is published for information and educational purposes only. No warranty, expressed or implied, is furnished with respect to the material contained in this Blog. The reader is urged to consult with his/her physician or a duly licensed mental health professional with respect to the treatment of any medical or psychological condition.

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The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC

The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC, is located at 675 Route 72 E, Manahawkin, NJ 08050,
Telephone (609)709-2043 and (609) 494-0009.

Driving directions: Take Mill Creek Road South, just off Route 72 E After about 400 feet, turn right into the office complex of Mill Creek Commons.Then, immedately turn right again and go past the Lyceum II Gym. Continue on to the Prudential Zack Building,which will be the only building on your right. We are the last office at the end.

We accept Medicare and most other major insurance.
We do not accept credit or debit cards.

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Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Trip Treatment



We already know that we can replicate drug trips with hypnosis, and therefore replicate the insights and changed world perspectives that they give us, by suggesting a trip to a parallel Universe in which the usual laws of physics o not apply. It isn't necessary to wait for them to legalize psychedelics to do research in this area. We can do it now (Gibbons & Woods, 2016).

References


Gibbons, D. E., & Woods, K. T. (2016). Virtual reality hypnosis: Explorations in the Muletiverse. Amazon Books.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/09/trip-treatment

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Advanced Skills for Life Management


Here, in no particular order, is a list of links to some of the Blog entries which are most frequently used by my psychology clients. When you clck on a link and it takes you ro rhe Blog, just scroll down and the post that you have clicked on will come up first.. Then you can repeat this process for each additional link. If the links do not work on your computer or handheld, you can go to the blog address, www.hyperempiria.com, and enter them.

I hope you find them useful!




How to Avoid PTSD and Panic Attacks

How to Get a Good Night's Sleep

Emergency First Aid for Panic Attcks

How to Meditate Like an Expert Almost Anywhere

Is a Toxic Person Driving You into Therapy? 

How to Have a Great Conversation

How to Select and Strengthen Your Own Motives


How to Learn Self-Hypnosis at Home

How to Manage Stress Using the Best Me Technique

The Ultimate Cure for Existential Depression

False Beliefs that are Driving You Crazy

False Perceptions that are Driving You Crazy

Activities which Help You Get Off the Merry-Go-Round

Cognitive Behavioral Downloads for Clients and Therapists


When You're Just Too Depressed to DO Much

How to Eliminate Late-Night Snacking

How ro THINK Like a Thin Person

How to Control Pain and Suffering

How to Train Yourself Not to be Angry

Here is a link to a procedure which was recorded by my co-author, Kelley Woods. People who respond well to hypnosis can also use it to get a good night's sleep. http://virtualrealityhypnosis.org/journeytothemultiverse


Friday, November 10, 2017

What is Hyperempiria? Not What You Think!

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."                                               --LewCarroll, Alice in Wonderland


Having coined the term and written and presented extensively about it, I now claim  droit du seigneur concerning its definition. It does not mean an alert induction, even though that is the way it started out, and that is the way others have extensively blogged about it. The word literally means, enhanced experience -- neither more nor less, as Humpty Dumpty would have said..Hwre'a an example. 

In Victorian times, women were considered to be such delicate creatures that they were expected to faint if the air in a room became unduly stuffy, or if they were suddenly kissed without warning -- and some of them did, because this stereotype acted as a powerful icultural suggesion,,at least for a while. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I'll leave you with just one more example.

In the early days of Mesmerism, "Putting aside his wand, Mesmer frequently magnetized young women with his hands. As described by his contemporaries, the woman sat with her knees pressed firmly between the thighs of the mesmerist, who applied pressure to her 'ovarium,' while stroking her body until she began to convulse. This was referred to as 'making passes,' which is where the present-day expression comes from. According to Binet and Fere (1888, p. 11), 'young women were so much gratified by the crisis, that they begged to be thrown into it anew" (p. 11). This can bes bet described as a form of hyperempiria, or enhanced experience (Alexander, 1998), As you can easily imagine, a great deal more can be written about many other types of suggestion-enhanced experience, once we have the definition right!


Reference

Alexander, E. D. (1994)  Hyper-sex: Pathways to Ecstasy. 

Binet, A., & Feré, C. (1888). Animal Magnetism. New York: Appleton.


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

The Law of Attraction is FATALLY FLAWED!

The central theme of the book, "The Secret," is that we create our own reality by "the law of attraction." If we send forth positive thoughts, then we attract positive events to us; and if we send forth negative thoughts, then we attract negative events.

Whatever an individual's thoughts can attract, a gtoup's thoughts should be able to attract too, If we really do create our own reality by sending forth positive or negative thoughts, then this effect should be apparent not only in individuals, but also in groups, in historical trends, and in society as a whole. But it doesn't! For a better guide to the higher powers of the mind, check out Claude Bristol's The Magic of Believing, which is available on Amazon and is free on You Tube, and is presented below.in audio format.

I have first listed some comments which my friend Roy Hunter reports as being made to individuals who are suffering from cancer and other maladies which should also operate according to "the law of attraction," and taken the liberty of constructing a reply to them. 


  • What did you do to attract cancer in the first place? What about all those people who get cancer because they are living in an area where there is a high level of carcinogens in the environment?
  • You have a disease consciousness. The Black Death killed between 75 and 200 million people, between 1348 and 1350. What could all those people have been thinking that caused such a plague to so suddenly descend upon them?
  • You must have a karmic debt to pay off.  If you have read The Diary of Anne Frank, you will have a good idea of the kind of person she was. Now consider the fate of Ann and others like her as they lay covered with lice and dying of hypothermia in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. What did they do to bring this upon  themselves?
  • Why can’t you create enough faith to be healed? Age is a wasting disease. And the survival rate for this particular disease is zero. Has anybody crated enough faith to get out of that one?
  • Don’t you know smoking will kill you? With 99% of the same genes as our closest simian cousins, the chimpanzees, and over a century of experimental research to back them up, most psychologists agree that short-term pleasure is often more important than long-term consequences in determining our behavior, particularly when it comes to matters of addiction.
  • Fat people are out of control. An African journalist recently stated that her greatest surprise in coming to the United States was to discover that in America, thin people are rich and fat people are poor, since in her own country the reverse is true. If this is the case, how can weight be a function of one's personal discipline rather than one's culture?
  • You have a poverty consciousness. The CIA World Factbook lists the United States as twelfth in per capita income, behind such nations as Norway and Hong Kong, yet most Americans are inclined to think of themselves as the richest nation in the world. If we create our own reality, why are we not in first place?
  • "Get out of the victim trap!" Try telling the survivors of Stalinist tyranny who were imprisoned in Siberia that they shouldn't have been thinking so negatively about their situation that it caused them to end up there.
  • Why did you create this problem? The CIA World Factbook lists the United States as fifteehth from the top in infant mortality compared with other nations. Explain to the parents of the babies who died because they were not given better medical care what they or their children did to create this problem.
  • What is God punishing you for?  If God is keeping quiet about His reasons, then what is the point of punishment?
  • If “The Secret” is not working for you, then you must be doing something wrong.  Maybe so!  On a recent radio interview show featuring a leading theoretical physicist who was commenting upon the latest discoveries in his field, a questioner asked him about the "law of attraction." He forcefully criticized the promulgators of this belief for misleading people, and assured the caller that the universe simply does not work that way. Perhaps what people who subscribe to this false doctrine are "doing wrong" is believing in "The Secret" in the first place!
Of course there can be negative and self-destructive attitudes within the personality which interfere with the successful accomplishment of a goal, and which contribute to the development of psychosomatic conditions. But their causes and effects are well-documented in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and have nothing to do with "The Secret!"

For a better guide to the higher powers of the mind, check out Claude Bristol's The Magic of Believing, which is available on Amazon and is free on You Tube, and is presented below.

Bristol's genius lies in the fact that he makes no reference to religious or philosophical concepts, nor does he use the word "psychic." Since all religious traditions employ some form of the magic of believing, then the magic of believing clearly does not belong" to any one of them. 
I suspect that those who have felt that they have been successful in using the principles contained in The Secret have actually been using a more active form of belief,without realizing it. If you can believe in it, you can believe it, and if you can believe it you can make it happen. Or,, in the words of Jesus of Nazarreth, "For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith" (Mark 11:23).




  



Friday, November 3, 2017

Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality

It is only by asking the right questions that we can get the right answers. .In the following video, the speaker demonstrates that we all hallucinate our conscious reality. So what good is a hypnotist? When our own hallucinated reality makes us unhappy, it is the job of the hypnotist to modify our experience of reality in a way that makes us more comfortable, by whatever means are at hand, as long as this does not interfere with our social, occupational, or intellectual functioning. 




Thursday, November 2, 2017

How to Have a Great Conversation

Small Talk isn't just for "wowing" someone on a date.

Having excellent conversational skills is useful for many other things besides impressing someone on a date, or making small talk with strangers at a party. It is vitally important whenever you need to make a new co-worker feel at home, or to welcome a new family member at a reunion, or when you are joining a new organization, and in a host of other situations where you need to present yourself well to people who do not already know you -- and perhaps, even for "old married folks" who are beginning to feel like they "don't know how to talk to one another" any more! It is also an essential first step in helping you to make friends at any age.

The following post is adapted from an article which was originally published on wikiHow,  where it was contributed to by over 620 people and read by over two and a half million. If you click on the link just mentioned and enter the words "conversation skills" in their search box, you will find many more excellent articles on this and similar topics.


How to Have a Great Conversation

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

The art of conversation takes practice, but it's not as hard as you might think. Whether it's at a dinner party, your school, or over the phone, a great conversation starts when two or more people are on the same page and feel comfortable talking with each other. By following the steps in this article, you can learn to relax and have a great conversation with just about anybody.

Steps

Sample Conversation Topics  

Find out a few things about the person you'll be talking to (if you can) before you actually start a conversation. Websites as well as Facebook and Twitter profiles can be good sources of information, as long as you're careful not to come across as a stalker. Kick off the conversation with some interesting information that's not too personal. 


  1. "I was looking at the biochemistry department website and saw that you're working on a pretty interesting thesis! How did you come to choose that topic? "I saw on the office memo that you're working on the outreach project for local schools. How's that going?"
  2. "Is it true that you just went skydiving?"
  3. Ask questions so that the other person can talk about himself or herself. "What do you like to do?" "What sort of things have you done in your life?" "What is happening to you now?" "What did you do today or last weekend?" Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. People love having a chance to discuss their passions or their subjects of expertise.
    • Ask questions for clarification. If your conversation partner is talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn more.
    • Make sure that your interest appears genuine. Maintain eye contact and nod your head or interject comments like, "That's interesting."
    • Use open-ended questions. Skip the simple "yes" or "no" questions. Instead, ask a question that will allow your partner to talk extensively. "So you love to go hang gliding. What made you get into it in the first place?"
    • Start superficial. Ask more generic questions at first. Then,  your partner's comfort level. If your partner seems willing to open up, then you can ask some more personal questions.
  4. Inject invitation and inspiration.
    • An "invitation" happens when you say something that lets your partner know that it's his or her turn to speak. Generally, invitations come in the form of questions.
    • "Inspiration" means that you come up with a great topic that makes your partner want to have a discussion. For instance, you could share a funny story that will remind your partner of a similar thing that happened in his or her life, or you could share your thoughts about something and inspire your partner to respond.
  5. Comment on a general interest topic. Some people briefly read the current events section of the news so that if the conversation runs dry, they can comment on something of general interest. "Did you hear about the new underground park being built in uptown?" is both interesting and informative.
  6. Listen actively. A conversation will go nowhere if you are too busy thinking of other things, including what you plan to say next. If you listen w'ell, you'll identify questions to ask based on the other person's statements.
    • Paraphrase back what you heard the person say. "So you're saying that skydiving is the biggest rush you've ever experienced?" Doing this shows respect for the other person and gives him or her the chance to correct your understanding, affirm it or embellish upon it.
    • Encourage the other person to do most of the talking. Your conversation partner will feel as though you are attentive and engaged, and you will get the credit for being a great conversationalist.
  7. Forget yourself. Dale Carnegie once said, "It's much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you." If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like or what the other person might be thinking, then you will never be able to relax. Your discomfort will make the other person uncomfortable.
  8. Voice disagreement with respect. When stating a difference of opinion, remember these points:
    • Acknowledge your common ground before disagreeing, and try to omit the word "but" from your statement. Instead, try substituting the word "and." Many people find it less antagonistic.
    • Don't manipulate the talk to serve your own agenda and steamroll your counterpart. Never use a conversation as a way to boost your ego.
  9. Accept occasional silences. Take a drink or a bite of your dinner while you think of the next thing that you want to say. Did something that was said generate a new thought or topic in your mind? Use the pause to transition smoothly into further conversation.
  10. Occasionally, ask the question that is looming over the conversation. Humans are social creatures, and society has etiquette that's based on rules. There's so much etiquette it would be painful to list, but it's worth noting that sometimes people enjoy stepping beyond etiquette and talking about the things they thought they weren't allowed to talk about. It can be really refreshing, and pave the way for great conversation.
    • There's a rule out there about not discussing religion and politics, and it's generally a good one. If you think you can have a discussion with someone without making them feel threatened by your beliefs, go for it!
    • Love is another forbidden subject. We don't want to pry into other people's personal lives, just as we don't want others prying into our own. Sometimes, however, people want an excuse to talk about their love life. If your conversational partner says something like "I don't think that's an appropriate topic," apologize and move onto another subject.
  11. Tell stories, preferably funny ones. Stories are the spice of life. Joan Didion famously said "We tell ourselves stories in order to live," and many people happen to believe her. There's something about an expertly told story that takes us to a different place, allowing us to escape our tiny lives and live a grander existence. Don't be afraid to go to that place in your conversation. A couple things to remember in your storytelling:
    • Take it slow. Don't rush your story. Pause for dramatic effect when you need it. A steady, measured approach will draw out the story and keep your audience enthralled.
    • Transition into your story. "Funny you said that," or "Speaking of hoaxes," or "Actually, something similar happened to me not too long ago" will help the story feel like a natural evolution of the conversation.
    • Tell a reality-based story. In other words, something that actually happened. Truth has a way of being stranger than fiction, and a story that's been fabricated just feels a little more empty than something that actually happened.
  12. In a pinch, comment on the awkwardness of it all. If you're really at a loss for words and the conversation is shrinking faster than cellophane under a bit of heat, comment on how awkward the conversation has become; be humorous about it:
    • "I'm sorry, my awkwardness juts out at such...awkward times. Enough with the formalities. What do you really want to talk about?"
    • "We're trying pretty hard, aren't we. There must be something essential that we're missing. You're not a cat person are you?"
    • "I'm sure we have something in common. How about we get a drink and let some of the alcohol do the talking? You look like I need a drink."
  13. Know when the conversation has ended. Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Smile, state that you enjoyed the conversation and say goodbye. Ending on a positive note will make the other person want to talk to you again.
Video



Tips

  • Make sure you pause between sentences. Doing this allows the other person to ask a question or to interject a thought of their own. Remember, you want to have a conversation, not a monologue.
  • Approach the person you want to talk to with confidence. Being around confident people makes others feel good. Your infectious energy and enthusiasm will make everyone in the conversation feel confident and comfortable. Projecting confidence is the key to a good conversation.
  • Pay the other person a compliment. For example, a statement like, "I like your handbag" could lead to a discussion over stores, bags or anything else that you can imagine.
  • Avoid dwelling on a lackluster conversation. Sometimes the other person is distracted or simply getting over a bad day.
  • If a person is not a type of person that you can have a good friendly conversation with, then just go to another person that can be more appreciate your efforts.
  • Sometimes, a great conversation can keep going if the person you want to talk to plays something that you also play, for example, a game, or a sport. It can also work with places you go to, or certain activities that you do.
  • Always smile when necessary. This doesn't mean you should do so after everything s/he says though. It simply means that while the conversation is positively developing, you can further encourage its development by showing your partner that you are genuinely interested in what s/he has to say. It also shows that you want to know more in a subtle way and makes the other person want to divulge more because of your pleasant response. Basically, facial expression is key.
  • Talk about your hobbies and her hobbies.
  • When talking to him at school make sure to end the conversation by saying something like: "Ohh I gotta go. Sorry, bye!" when the topic is real good, this leaves him wanting to talk to you even more the next time.
  • Only start conversations when it's a good time for both of you. They won't want to talk if they're in a rush and they might get annoyed with you.
  • See also the following Blog entry: How to Overcome Shyness with  Cognitive-Behavioral psychology.
Warnings
  • Avoid cutting the other person off in mid-sentence or during a natural pause. Let the person finish his or her thoughts before continuing with thoughts of your own.
  • Beware of potentially inflammatory topics like religion and politics. Don't venture into these topics with someone you don't know.
 Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Have a Great Conversation. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.