Don E. Gibbons, Ph.D., NJ Licensed Psychologist #03513
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The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC

The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC, is located at 703 Mill Creek Road, Suite G #1, Manahawkin, NJ 08050. Telephone us at(609)709-2043 and(609) 709-0009. We will welcome you warmly and will work together with you to develop a plan which is individually suited to your goals, utilizing a variety of therapeutic approaches including cognitive behavioral, family systems, psychodynamic, humanistic, and eclectic approaches as well as hypnosis. We accept Medicare and most other major insurance. Weekend and evening office hours are available.

Friday, July 18, 2014

How to Use the Power of Suggestion to Induce Orgasms (WARNING! Adult content)

I once took a workshop on hypnosis taught by the late Martin T. Orne, who was the Editor of the International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. One of the participants, a medical student, said that a friend had boasted to him, "I gave my wife fifteen orgasms last night -- and you can do it too."

"To his wife?" I asked, and the room exploded in laughter. But later, when a different participant asked Dr. Orne what percentage of the population was capable of experiencing literally anything that was suggested to them, he replied with the verbal equivalent of a shrug, "One or two percent.."

In most situations, suggestibility does follow the bell-shaped curve that Orne was talking about. Some peiple respond easily to suggesstion and some do not, with most of us bunched up somewhere in the middle. However, that estimate may be a bit conservative, because the data that he was referring to were collected under standardized testing conditions, usually a college classroom, in which the environment is held contsant. Nevertheless, the power of suggestion does not follow the bell-shaped curve! In the real world, Hyperempiria, or suggestion-enhanced experience, plays a major role in events as varied as falling in love,  coming under the sway of a totalitarian dictator,  being saved in a revival meeting. or, as in the present example, having an orgasm.

In the stage hypnosis video below, before the video began, the volunteers were first quickly screened for responsiveness to suggestion (which is necessary in any stage hypnosis demonstration to insure that the participants are all high responders).  When the induction was completed, the hypnotist suggested that he was going to sprinkle itching powder on them, which would cause them to writhe with discomfort. After this suggstion had taken effect and the video had started, the hypnotist was able to induce a suggested orgasm with a light scratch on the chest. 

Some people cannot believe their eyes when they see such demonstrations. But if hypnosis has been used as the sole anesthetic to amputate limbs, deliver babies, and extract teeth, why should it be surprising if hyperempiria, or  suggestions of enhanced experience, can be used to increase sensitivity instead of deadening it?

Should stage hypnosis demonstrations like this be banned, on the grounds that it embarrasses and humiliates people for the sole putpose of amusing the audience? These critics, in my opinion, are not sufficiently familiar with the details today's "hookup culture," in which a sexual encounter between perfect strangers can be completely and convincingly portrayed  from the first wink to the final gasp, without a single word being spoken.

In the video  presesnted here, look at the faces of the volunteers as they await their turn turbefore, during, and after the hypnotist's suggestions have been given. Curiosity? yes. Showing off?  perhaps. But shame and humiliation? obviously not! In demonstrations such as these, complaints from subjecds themselves are practically nonezistent, or this type of performance would have been banned years ago. Perhaps a more important question is, If these imaginatively gifted volunteers can undergo experiences this profound in public, much more meaningful results are possible between mutually consenting lovers in private?  imagine what the lives of these exceptional couples would be like, and what memories they would have, if experiential hypnosis (hyperempiria) is used to paint upon the canvas of personal experience virtually any masterpiece of intimacy they may desire. 

I have a colleague who is currently in a romantic relationship with a highly passionate and much younger woman, with whom he is personally much more compatible. He hypnotizes her and suggests that during their lovemaking she will climax whenever he caresses her nipples, which significantly enhances the quality of their lovemaking and is more than enough to make up for his own decreased responsiveness. "By the time we are ready to stop, t's become so intense that ishe begs me for mercy," he recently told me.

On occasion, the couple also enjoys a seduction script in which the woman is first hypnotized and given the suggestion that she will become progressively more aroused during foreplay as each article of clothing is gradually removed, and that she will have a full and intense climax when the last remaining piece of clothing is finally taken off. With proper timing and the use of additional suggestions for increasing arousal as foreplay continues, she is ready to climax profoundly and repeatedly when intercourse actually begins. 

However, don't pay through the nose for information!  Many organizations will spoon-feed you information about erotic  hypnosis, or purportedly show you how to induce mystical and cstatic  experiences at will  They usually feature a series of workshops over time, each one more sensationalized than the last, to inrease their cash flow even more,.To obtain such knowledge, you don't have to join any pricey organizations, or qualify for membership in an artifical elite,.order instructional materials costing several hundred dollars.,or travel great distances to attend their presentations.. All the information that you need to put these skills into practice with an imaginatively gifted partner is contained in E. D. Alexander's Hypersex: Pathways to Ecstasy, which is available as an Amazon Kindle Edition and as close as your nearest Google prompt 

There is also too much of a tendency in many such groups to glorify emotion and sensuality for its own sake, which is bound to wear off with time, no matter how attractive or responsive the partner is initially.  Anthropologists are fond of pointing out that five years down the road, a couple who marries for love is just about as happy or unhappy as a couple who ties the knot in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm. In a long-term relationship, true and lasting passion is generated by the compatibility and meaningfulness of lives which are deeply intertwined, rather than by physical attraction or the strength of the love which they shared in the beginning..  

Consecrating Themselves to One Another Anew

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Can Hypnosis Create a "Master and Slave" Relationship?

Only if you want it to do so!

Whenever I would give a talk on hypnosis to psychology classes, I used to point out that hypnosis does not automatically turn you into a zombie or a robot, or weaken your will, or make you dependent upon another person, because you can always refuse to comply with any suggestion you are given.

One day, during the ten-minute break between classes, a girl came to my desk and told me that for the past twenty years, her father used to hypnotize her mother and tell her what he wanted to have for dinner the following evening. She would dutifully prepare the meal without remembering that she had been given a suggestion to do so under hypnosis. The couple had currently separated, and her mother had gone to visit her husband in order to plead with him to reconsider. Since the daughter was aware of this part of  this part of her parents' relationship, what was going on was obviously no secret.

Although it is not possible to diagnose someone I have never met, people with a diagnosis of  dependant personality disorder usually want to be told what to do, and they will often go to great lengths to maintain a relationship which is in danger of breaking up. Her mother was always eager to please her husband, and was pleading with him to return the marriage to where it was before. Nevertheless, she did not have to do any of these things, unless she actually wanted to do them. It is quite likely that her parents' relationship would have remained much the same, regardless of whether or not hypnosis was present to act as a catalyst. 

As Steve Lynn and I put it in the conclusion of our chapter in the American Psychological Association's Handbook of Clinical Hypnosis, the nature and success of a particular induction is not as important as the characteristics and personality of each client we encounter,

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Why Do So Many People Die Before Their Time?

Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist who was interned in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. He experienced the tortures and depravities first-hand, and he was a keen observer of everything around him. He recorded his experiences in his boook, Man's Search for Meaning, wich is now in its third edition and has sold over two milion copies. 

In his book, Frankl recalled that on one particularly bad day, a list of "crimes" was announced which would be punishable by immediate death by hanging. These included cutting your blankets into ankle supports because, due to insufficient food, your ankles were too weak to stand on by themselves. Then, a couple of hours later, it was announced that two potatoes had been stolen from the camp kitchen. If the culprits were not immediately handed over to the tender mercies of the SS guards, the whole camp would starve for the day, Since they were starving anyway, the whole camp preferred to fast.

That evening, as the prisoners lay in their huts, the lights went out. For many, this seemed to be the last straw. As they lay there in total darkness, his Senior Block Warden asked Frankl to give them a talk to lift their spirits up. God knows, Frankl wrote, he was in no shape to cheer up anyone else. But he knew he had to say something. He began by noting that the real reason people were dying all around them was not their poor living conditions, horrible as they were, but giving up hope. Even in this Europe in the sixth winter of the Second World War, he continued, everyone could find some reason for hope. He frankly admitted that he estimated his own chances of survival at about one in twenty. Friends, family, careers, could all be restored, abd one could suddenly be transferred to a camp with unusually good working conditions, for this was the luck of the prisoner.

When the lights came on again, it was obvious that he had struck a responsive chord. People were limping towards him to shake his hand. Later, when he was liberated from the camp and re-opened his private practice, Frankl realized that in everyday life as well as in a concentration camp, when people gave up hope they were much more ready to die before their time. He began to forumulate the methhod of therapy which today is known as logotherapy, a close forerunner of today's post-modern constructionism.  Instead of seeking pleasure, as Freud would have it, or power, as Adler maintained, Frankl asserted that the most powerful motivating force in humans is the need to find meaning in life.

In my clinical practice, as well as in the lives of others people I have known, I have seen evidence of the unhappiness and despair which results when the main source of meaning in one's existence has been lost, or when it has never been found in the first place. But meaning need never remain lost or unachievable, even though it may appear to be. In the conclusion of the motion picture, Titanic, when her idyllic first love had been destroyed by the death of her lover when tbe ship sank, the heroine re-appeared as an od woman with children and grandchildren, and observed, "the heart of a woman is as deep as the ocean itself." 

Robert Louis Stevenson said, "The world is so full of such a number of things, I am sure we should all be as happy as kings."  Steven Hawking, who can easily be found on You Tube, is still busy lecturing to large audiences about the Cosmos, even though his ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) has progressed to the point that he can no longer sit up in his wheelchair and must use a special device in order to speak. Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon professor and an internationally-recognized expert in computer science,gave his "Last Lecture" on Achieving your Childhood Dreams and the Dreams of Others, has neow been viewed by over sixteen million people. If he had not been prematurely struck by Cancer, I am sure tha with his keen intellectual interests and his strong network of family and social support,t Dr. Pausch had the psychological preparation to live to a ripe old age. 

This principle is also illustrated in Cervantes' immortal novel, Don Quijote, in which the leading character is willing to pursue his idealistic "impsssible dream" into the jaws of death itself -- and, because he would never abandon his dream, his death was certainly not an unhappy one!