Did I read that sign right?
In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY, PLEASE BRING IT BACK, OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN._____________________________________________In an office:AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD._____________________________________________
Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?_______________________________________
Notice in Health Food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS._______________________________________
Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR_______________________________________
Seen during a conference:FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR._______________________________________
Notice in a farmer's field:THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES._______________________________________
Message on a leaflet:IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS._______________________________________
On a repair shop door:WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)_______________________________________
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self, Before Shooting Wife and Daughter_____________________________________________
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!
They put in a correction the next day.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert SaysReally? Ya think?___________________________________
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersNow that's taking things a bit far!____________________________________________________
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverWhat a guy!_____________________________________________
Miners Refuse to Work after DeathNo-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!____________________________________________________
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting DefendantSee if that works any better than a fair trial!________________________________________
War Dims Hope for PeaceI can see where it might have that effect!____________________________________________________
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last AwhileYa think?!____________________________________________________
Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesWho would have thought!____________________________________________________
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect HomicideThey may be on to something!____________________________________________________
Red Tape Holds Up New BridgesYou mean there's something stronger than duct tape?____________________________________________________
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery ChargeHe probably IS the battery charge!____________________________________________________
New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest GroupWeren't they fat enough?!-____________________________________________________
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas
in SpacecraftThat's what he gets for eating those beans!____________________________________________________
Kids Make Nutritious SnacksDo they taste like chicken?________________________________________
Local High School Dropouts Cut in HalfChainsaw Massacre all over again!____________________________________________________
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot DoctorsBoy, are they tall!____________________________________________________
And the winner is...Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds DeadDid I read that right?____________________________________________________
Maybe we ought to just let the matter "west " there. . . .