Don E. Gibbons, Ph.D., NJ Licensed Psychologist #03513
This Blog is published for information and educational purposes only. No warranty, expressed or implied, is furnished with respect to the material contained in this Blog. The reader is urged to consult with his/her physician or a duly licensed mental health professional with respect to the treatment of any medical or psychological condition.

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The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC

The New Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy, LLC, is located at 675 Route 72 E, Manahawkin, NJ 08050,
Telephone (609)709-2043 and (609) 494-0009.

Driving directions: Take Mill Creek Road South, just off Route 72 E After about 400 feet, turn right into the office complex of Mill Creek Commons.Then, immedately turn right again and go past the Lyceum II Gym. Continue on to the Prudential Zack Building,which will be the only building on your right. We are the last office at the end.

We accept Medicare and most other major insurance.
We do not accept credit or debit cards.

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Saturday, August 3, 2013

How to Overcome Perfectionism



Do the important things -- and then take time to enjoy life!
The following list is adapted from a posting on www.smartrecovery.org. The difference between these statements and other types of "positive thinking" affirmations is that these statements are all true, we just don't always realize that they are! So when you concentrate on accepting one of these statements you don't get the feeling that you are merely lying to yourself, as you might do if you were to try to accept a different type of affirmation such as, "I am effective and serene in social situations," when you know very well that you are not.

Since the suggestions which we receive in hypnosis, or the ones we give to ourselves in self-hypnosis, are often more effective than the things we say to ourselves in everyday life, this list provides us with an excellent source of suggestions or autosuggestions if perfectionism has been a difficulty for you. However, a hypnotic induction is not necessary for these affirmations to be accepted. You simply need to go over them a few times each day in your mind until they become part of your everyday reality, much as you might repeat a set of physical exercises until you have reached the level of comfort you desire.


If your perfectionism is more than the "everyday garden variety" which we all experience at times, you may need to explore the possibility of talk therapy and/or psychotropic medication in order to obtain a satisfactory resolution.  But for almost everybody, incorporating the following beliefs into your philosophy of life will enable you to enjoy life a great deal more!
  • No one can be totally perfect.
  • I'm not perfect and I never will be — tough!
  • It's okay to want to do my best. Doing well does not necessarily mean being the best.
  • I perform in many different roles and it is highly unlikely that I will excel in every role at all times.
  • Just because I make a mistake does not mean I am a mistake.
  • To be human is to err.
  • The pressure I put on myself to perform perfectly is an unrealistic pressure that can actually cause me to perform worse because I will be worried and nervous.
  • The pressure I put on myself to perform perfectly creates an extra source of stress that can affect me emotionally and physically.
  • Trying to do my best is a reasonable goal, but it will not always be achieved.
  • Few things in life are exact. Things can be done in a variety of ways and have many different solutions.
  • People do not always agree on what is correct or right. Judgments are often subjective.
  • I will try to set my own realistic goals, please myself, and have the strength to be creative and different in the face of others' potential disapproval.
  • Our whole society is geared to expect that people will make mistakes and errors. Examples are traffic tickets, prison, consumer recalls, consumer complaints, refunds, legal suits, etc.
  • True friends accept imperfection.
  • Mistakes do not equal incompetence. Mistakes are just mistakes —period! 
Scroll down for a list of some of the most popular sites on this Blog. 
Below this list are the most recent Blog entries. 
For an easily accessible list of all Blog postings, see the list entitled, "Blog Archive" in the column at the right of this page.

 

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The Blog contains many other examples of experience as an art form, for the enhancement of human potential, the ennoblement of the human spirit, and the fulfillment of human existence.


See also the following print sources:

Gibbons, D. E. (2001). Experience as an art form. .New York, NY: Authors Choice Press.

Gibbons, D. E. (2000). Applied hypnosis and hyperempiria. Lincoln, NE: Authors Choice Press (originally published 1979 by Plenum Press).

Gibbons, D. E., & Cavallaro, L (2013).. Exploring alternate universes: And learning what they can teach us. Amazon Kindle E-Books. (Note: It is not necessary to own a Kindle reader to download this e-book, as the Kindle app may be downloaded free of charge to a standard desktop or laptop computer and to most cell phones.)

Gibbons, D. E., & Lynn, S. J. (2010). Hypnotic inductions: A primer. in S. J. Lynn, J. W. Rhue, & I. Kirsch (Eds.) Handbook of clinical hypnosis, 2nd ed. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, pp. 267-291.



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